Relationships with peers and parents

In the period from the second to the fourth year, friendships become more and more important to children. These experiences shape children, allowing them to compile complex feelings and experience acceptation. From the third year, they are very happy with their friends, they even tease each other. Children love, hug and miss each other. Besides building friendships, children also learn rivalry. These emotions are part of a healthy upbringing. Rivalry is an integral part of friendship, meaning a child will love his friend as well as compete with him. It is important to guide the child into socializing with children who are acceptable in their patterns of behavior because your child will accept some of their habits. Note that exploring sexuality is already present in three-year-olds. Large number of three-year-olds will play “moms and dads” in some way. It’s a harmless way in which they explore their bodies. Research through games and experiences with peers give children the opportunity to create clearer ideas about themselves. One should worry about a child who did not start building strong relationships with peers in the third year. What should be taken seriously is if other children do not like your child or do not want to play with him. Intuitive and educational games with peers give the child the opportunity to create clearer ideas about themselves. Nervous or angry children, who have not yet learned to have the right relationship with others, endanger the balance that a child has achieved in himself when it comes to his own aggression and fears.

Parents can help a child who does not know how to behave with peers just by putting him in the group with them early. It is wise to first introduce a child to one child who has similar character traits, and then allow them, when they get closer, to spend more time together, for example on a trip. That way, the two children will learn about each other. When a child builds a relationship with one child, learns to behave, it will be easier accepted in a group with other children. If the problem is that your child does not want to share his things, you as parents should explain to him that it will be difficult for him to share things with others, but also that it is necessary. You need to practice sharing your things with your child. It is best to tell the child to single out a couple of his favorite toys that he does not have to share with anyone, but to prepare him that he will have to share the others in the game with other children. When your child takes the slightest step in that direction, praise him clearly. Learning to share is a very important lesson in life. When a child spontaneously starts sharing toys with other children, it is a sign that empathy has appeared, the child does it without external pressure. For example, he will share his candy with a child, and when he sees pleasure on that child’s face because of the candy, he will be glad. This is the beginning of altruism in a child – a very important human trait.

A three-year-old child begins to identify with his parents individually. Sometimes he will be strongly attached to one parent to the extent that he will imitate movements. Then, in the following period, he will declare the other parent a favorite. The child abruptly changes his affection, but by focusing on one parent, absorbs his characteristics and behavior. These changes in affection are painful and confusing for the parent. Parents feel rejected in the phases when they are not in focus. A child in his own way begins to build his identity. Help both, the child and yourself. Suggest that the child should spend some time alone with him, on walks, shopping, in the park. Read him bedtime stories yourself. Do not force a child. Such behavior and affection towards one parent lasts for several months. Even though it is a test of identification with the mother or a child’s flirtation with the father – the child only learns to cope with his intense feelings. Especially in this period, it is difficult for both the child and parents to cope with feelings of aggression and anger. The child examines the parents, provokes their reactions to learn what is acceptable and what is not, and where your limits are. It is up to you to teach that to your child. Regardless of the outbursts of anger, there is no reason to allow the child everything he wants in anger, because that will not teach him a much more important lesson in life – what is good and what is bad, what is acceptable and what is not. SPECIFICS OF CURRENT COVID -19 ISOLATION?The current situation in which the whole world finds itself requires many changes in the lives of children and adults. Much of what we knew and applied in children’s development has changed. Always carry bottles of alcohol or gel with you, teach children to understand that it is necessary. Try not to forbid, but to explain to them as simply as possible without scaring them that it is not good for children of that age to hug and kiss. Check friends and their contacts to avoid infection. Hang out with people you trust, make a team as a family to hang out with. What is important in the situation that we do not know how long it will last?- Honesty- Social distancing- ResponsibilityIn this way will save our families family and become responsible parents.


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